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A Pint of Beer, Bean Sprouts, and Wide-Hipped Women: Take the Details Celebrity Poetry Quiz!

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One of the great things about being a famous person is that your fans will devour and worship your every utterance. Over the past few years this has fostered a glorious boomlet in Celebrity Poetry, a much-maligned and misunderstood American literary genre that's enjoying a bit of extra attention right now, thanks to the rediscovered cosmic versifications of Michael Jackson. (Alas, yes, 'twas the late King of Pop who composed sweetly sublime lines such as "Planet Earth, my home, my place/ A capricious anomaly in the sea of space.") Lyrical musings have put MJ in the company of poetic luminaries like Leonard Cohen, Rosie O'Donnell, Billy Corgan, Jewel, Mr. Spock, and Suzanne Somers. But how well, dear scholar, do you really know their work? Here at Details we've put together a little mix-and-match quiz to find out. See if you can link the verses to the famous poet who summoned them up. Leave your guesses in the comments, or email them to detailsletters@condenast.com—answers will be posted on Friday.
—Jeff Gordinier and Ian Daly

Poets:

(a) Michael Jackson
(b) Russell Crowe
(c) Jewel
(d) Billy Corgan
(e) Leonard Nimoy
(f) Rosie O'Donnell
(g) Suzanne Somers
(h) Leonard Cohen
(i) William Butler Yeats

(1)
no matter where you stand
you stand here with me
missing simple times
mixing blood with rose oil

(2)
Thank you
For your sensitive
understanding
Thank you
For Your
Love

(3)
O darling (as we used to say)
you are wide-hipped and kind
I'm glad we got over the wall
of that loathsome Zen monastery

(4)
Organic girl dropped by last night
For nothing in particular
Except to tell me again how beautiful and serene she feels
On uncooked vegetables and wheat germ fortified by bean sprouts—

(5)
I am celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tattoo.
Imagine there's no heaven.

(6)
Women who suck
their cigarettes
as though they were
giving their
hatred head

(7)
Whence did all that fury come?
From empty tomb or Virgin womb?
Saint Joseph thought the world would melt
But liked the way his finger smelt.

(8)
slept with a guy named kevin
on the red eye
i 2A—he 2B
i worried about snoring
as i am told i do

(9)
He knew his power was the power of God
He was so sure, they considered him odd
This power of innocence, of compassion, of light
Threatened the priests and created a fight

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