Kosovo Honors President Clinton the Best Way It Knows How: With a Giant Erection
The Germans love David Hasselhoff. The French, Jerry Lewis. Bill Clinton is big in the Balkans. Very big in the Balkans.
Yesterday, in the Kosovo capital of Pristina, Clinton was on hand for the unveiling of an 11-foot statue in his likeness, which stands near a mural of him in a square on—of all places—Bill Clinton Boulevard. Seriously, Kosovo, maybe don't come on so strong. Play it a little aloof; let him come to you. You're worth it.
Clinton is regarded as a hero by ethnic Albanians for spearheading NATO's bombing campaign to drive Yugoslavia's troops out of the Balkan province in 1999, and the one-ton gold-sprayed statue is the latest in a series of thank-you gifts (he received an honorary university degree in 2003, and before that, we imagine, a coupon for three free back rubs).
A nice gesture, sure, but if we were being critical, we'd say that the raised arm is a little goofy—like he's forever left hanging on an awkward high five—and it gives the crane-wielding mobs something to anchor onto if they ever decided to yank you down. Also, the suit is boxy, which proves the sculptor isn't a Details reader.
Still, it could have been much worse, considering how some of Clinton's Mates of State have been immortalized: Hillary Clinton, George Bush, and, of course, Jimmy Carter, whose statue would have benefited from a pedestal or more mature visitors.
And while she hasn't held political office (yet), who could forget what they did to Brit-Brit?
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