Q: What do I get my gay boss for his birthday?
A: Well, ass-kisser lesson No. 1 (and clearly you are one if you're asking this question) is that you have to top everyone else's gift. I would start by doing what any self-respecting employee should these days: Facebook-stalking your boss. Go through the postings on his wall from friends, scroll through his vacation pics, and deduce what some of his passions are (entertaining? Madonna? Speedos?). Then, shop with a focus on chic—patterned tumblers for his next dinner party, the upcoming Madonna: Sticky & Sweet book, a set of high-end sun-care products —and be prepared to act surprised when you get a raise.
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