Rest Easy: Why Cops Don't Lose Any Sleep Worrying About Their Jobs

Our guest blogger, humorist Neil Janowitz, takes on the best news you may have missed.


The people of Dallas can remain anxious and vigilant at night, knowing that at least one of their police officers is sleeping well. This week Dallas-area lawman Michael Taglienti was punished for incidents dating back to last summer. In one, he waited to respond to a dispatcher's call until he had finished a meal. In another, he was found asleep in his squad car while on duty. The inertia-inclined constable now faces a 20-day suspension, which doesn't seem like an especially harsh punishment for someone who so clearly has an affinity for just, y'know, eatin' and sleepin'.

Upon his return to the force, Taglienti is bound to face ire from fellow officers—in part because he contributed to the prevailing stereotypes of officers as fat and lazy, but more so because he jeopardized their own nap hideouts. And based on the eleven comments at the bottom of the source article, Dallas residents are split on how to feel about his malfeasance. Some are appalled that their safety was so selfishly disregarded by a protector of the peace. Others were happy to have one less person on the street writing tickets, even if it did leave them more susceptible to armed home invasion.

To be fair, most people waste time on the job in some way, be it with stolen naps, extended lunches or hours spent poring over blog posts about reprehensible policemen. But most people haven't been tasked with protecting the citizenry of an entire city, or doing anything else of import. Particularly troubling is the fact that this is the second 20-day suspension in three years for Taglienti, whose job security appears to rival that of New York City schoolteachers. The first suspension came in 2007 for, among other things, issuing misleading statements, most likely of the "just resting my eyes" variety.

—Neil Janowitz

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