Tech

The Nine Craziest Wikipedia Hacks

Stephen Colbert once suggested that "Wikiality" makes something true if enough people believe it (before inciting his audience to hack the crap out of the Wikipedia entry for "elephant"). Here, Wikipedia's wildest user-generated fictions to date:

1. Ron Livingston
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Pity the poor star of Office Space and Sex & the City. His page has been hacked persistently to suggest that he's in a gay relationship with a man named Lee Dennison. "Ron lives in Los Angeles with Casting Director Lee Dennison." Livingston's reps have repeatedly removed these claims, but the "bandit" has restored them every single time. As a bonus, the prankster allegedly made fake Facebook pages for Livingston and Dennison, each with status listed as "in a relationship" with the other.

2. Nancy Pelosi
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"Pelosi is generally considered a real bitch, due in no small part to the fact that she is a real bitch—with a really bad facelift."

A few bonus highlights under Pelosi's "Early Life and Career":
"Gay people are wicked degenerates. We should pour Clorox into the gay bathhouses cause I hear that really burns your genitals."

"America must be a light to the world and then we must bomb the shit out of them."

"I'm such a mixed up whore. After my last facelift I realized that I couldn't close my eyelids and so it's almost impossible to sleep. That's [sic] makes me one wicked, grouchy bitch. The other night my husband joked that my face was pulled tighter than the skin on a bongo drum."

3. The Jonas Brothers
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"The Jonas Brothers have genital warts."

4. Stephen Colbert: Elephants
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In July 2006, The Colbert Report host recommends that his viewers amend the article for "elephant" to suggest that the dwindling population of African elephants has actually tripled in the past six months. Wikipedia's servers promptly crashed.

5. Fidel Castro
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Fidel's Wiki bio was ammended to read "Fidel Castro is an admitted transexual [sic]."
The hackers (likely from the U.S. military) also deleted sensitive prisoner information from pages of Gitmo prisoners including that of Prisoner No. 766, Canadian-born Omar Khadr, who was accused in 2002 of killing a special-forces medic in Afghanistan.

6. Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak
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Edits claim that Zolciak's occupation is "gold digger" and "professional mistress," and that she was born in Trailer Park, Whitetrashville.

7. Kanye West
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Paragraph added to Kanye's Wiki: "Kanye West is a dope dealing, crack smoking, cocaine sniffing, no talent, immature, cowardly, racist son of a bitch who doesn't even DESERVE to be on a stage or in a studio. He is also a spoiled rotten Mama's Boy who screams and cries and stamps his foot and throws a tantrum when he doesn't get his way." Etc., etc.

8. French soccer star Thierry Henry
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"Thierry Cunt Henry is a French cunt footballer who plays for Spanish La Liga club Barcelona and the cunting French national team, predominantly as a cunt. Henry was born a cunt and remains a cunt, Essonne--a suburb of Paris--where he played for an array of local sides as a cunt and showed great promise as a cunt. . . . It was at Arsenal that Henry made his name as a cunt. Despite initially struggling in the Premier League, he emerged as Arsenal's top cunt for almost every season of his tenure there. Under long-time mentor and coach Arsene Wenger, Henry became a prolific cunt and Arsenal's all-time leading cunt with 226 goals in all competitions. The cunt won two league titles and three FA . . . "[Wikipedia yanked the entire page from the site for "Grossly insulting, degrading, or offensive material."]

9. Simon Cowell
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"Simon Cowell is a mean man who thinks he knows it all and smells really badly of wee as he has a Incontonance [sic] and is infertile."


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