Once in a while a story comes along that is so weird, so perverted, so incredibly wrong that it makes you despair for the soul of the world. So it goes with the strange case of Edward Muscare, the so-called "Singing Sex Offender," who was scheduled to be sentenced today in Florida on charges of violating his probation resulting from the 1987 "sexual battering" of a 14-year-old boy.
In recent years, Muscare--who in the 1970s hosted a cable-TV show in Kansas City while dressed as a vampire named Uncle Ed--has become a minor sensation on YouTube, where he gives cooking tips and performs creepy lip-synched renditions of songs, including one from West Side Story.
With his strange Bozo the Clown hair, wild eyes, and gapped front teeth, Muscare is the living incarnation of Chester the Molester, the kind of person who, before the Internet, moldered away in a third-floor walk-up, dying alone in his chair only to be discovered two weeks later when his downstairs neighbors couldn't bear the smell. Now he has thousands of "fans," whom he's asking to contact their local sheriff and ask whether convicted sex offenders are legally allowed to use computers in their jurisdictions. Apparently, when Muscare was arrested recently in South Carolina, the authorities told him that he wasn't allowed Web access. In a letter to the prosecutor he wrote, "As a retiree, it's indispensable in so many ways--especially for my hobby, photography."
This guy can't possibly be paying his lawyers enough.
An Orlando TV station aired footage of Uncle Ed saying "I would never sexually offend again, but we can't help but sin. We're all human beings."
Maybe. But some of us are less human than others.