Once upon a time, people got their caffeine from coffee or tea. Then Red Bull happened, followed by 5-Hour Energy and a host of other energy boosters. These days, there's no telling where you'll find some kick; there's always a buzzy new kid on the block. The latest: all-natural caffeinated maple syrup (pictured). Below are five odd caffeine-enriched products that will keep you jittery, wild-eyed, and operating at warp speed all day.
Looking to make your breakfast a little more extreme? One tablespoon of this stuff has more caffeine in it than most energy drinks. Pour it on your pancakes, take a slug of your coffee, and start the morning off right—by trembling uncontrollably.
2. Water Joe
Up to 60 percent of the human body is made up of water. Now imagine if that water was infused with caffeine the way this rocket fuel is. You might end up tearing through the day with lightning speed or, more likely, violently ill. Still, it's nice to know there is a caffeine option out there for people who don't like the taste of coffee or syrupy energy drinks. Water Joe, the "pristine artesian" bottled water dosed with caffeine from coffee beans, will allegedly give you the same buzz as a cup of strong coffee.
This caffeine-infused body lotion is a multitasker's delight that lets you fight dry skin and low energy. Does it work? We're not brave enough to slather it on, but product claims state it will leave your skin "tingling with energy!" not unlike, say, a slap in the face.
Too busy to consume eight ounces of liquid? Don't worry, you can always blast caffeine directly into your mouth with an inhaler. Sure, the company received flack from the FDA over potential lung damage from inhaling the powdery stuff, but it beats standing in line at Starbucks, right? This abomination comes in apple, raspberry, and lime flavors.
5. ChocoMallowsFor the lethargic and and calorie-deprived, here's a solution: fat, sugar, and heart palpitations all in one chocolate marshmallow. Each morsel is loaded with 100 milligrams of caffeine, making a single serving almost as potent as a cup of coffee. Attack a package of these when you have the munchies and you'll end up with a bonus case of the shakes.
—Keith Wagstaff is a writer and editor based in Brooklyn. Follow him @kwagstaff.