You know what people will be wearing this year. Someone will dress as Sandy (the storm). Someone else as a binder full of women. Then you've got your Big Bird, your replacement referees, and yes Batman. Lots of him. Don't worry; there are easier topical costumes to assemble at the last minute. Just follow the do's and don'ts below.
Do's
P90X Paul Ryan from the TIME Photos
Botched Jesus Fresco
You know the story: 81-year-old Cecilia Gimenez tried to "fix" a 19th century portrait of Jesus in a Spanish church and ended up creating a blurry monstrosity that some have dubbed "Potato Jesus." The great thing about this costume is that the worse you are as an artist, the more authentic the costume will be. Just wear a brown sheet, cut out a round mask from some cardboard and go to town with brown and black paint.
Magic Mike
Have a pair of black pants and a black tie or vest? Boom: instant Magic Mike costume. Even better if you have abs like Channing Tatum. If you don't, you can play it up for laughs a la Chris Farley in the infamous Chippendale's sketch on Saturday Night Live. One thing is for sure: At least you won't get hot inside of your costume.
Don'ts
Psy from "Gangnam Style"
We get it. Everyone loves Gangnam Style. Britney Spears did the dance on Ellen. There are hundreds of Gangnam Style parodies online. The infamous dancing Filipino inmates recently added the song to their repertoire. That's kind of the point; everyone is going to be dressed as Psy. Remember when Borat came out and everyone on Halloween was screaming "Very nice!" while wearing a gray suit and mustache?
Bath Salts Zombie
James Bond
We're fans of James Bond. We like sharp suits. We too are excited that Skyfall is coming out on November 8. We, however, are smart enough to know that we do not look like Daniel Craig, Pierce Brosnan or '60s-era Sean Connery. Have you ever seen a cheesy guy in a suit say "Shaken, not stirred" while cocking one eyebrow? Yeah, don't be that guy.
—Keith Wagstaff is a writer and editor based in Brooklyn. Follow him @kwagstaff.
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