While we don't typically condone outlandish facial hair, this week we're making an exception. With Halloween finally here and Movember less than 24 hours away, you get your once-a-year pass to go wild with your whiskers. Here are four facial-hair styles that are only acceptable as part of a costume. In fact, each look is so distinct, they're almost a costume by themselves.
The Pornstache As George Mendez on Orange Is the New Black Pablo Schreiber has brought the Tom Selleck 'stache to a new generation. It's thick, shaped like a frown, and just plain creepy. Add this mustache to a blue button-up, black pants, and a badge, and you've good to go. Just be prepared to look more sex offender than sexy.
Muttonchops Hugh Jackman as Wolverine epitomizes the uncontrolled, testosterone-charged look of wild, bushy sideburns. While this furry look begs to be buzzed off on a normal day, it makes for a great addition to a superhero costume on Halloween. Just add a white tank, jeans, and some claw hands.
The Handlebar and Chin Puff While we're pretty sure there are still some guys in the outskirts of Williamsburg pairing carefully twisted mustache ends with a chin patch as a day look, we only condone the movie-villain look if you're going to a costume party dressed as Guy Fawkes from V for Vendetta . Use some black face paint to darken all the hair on your face, from your eyebrows to your facial hair. Add a black hat, gloves, and a cape to achieve the proper lurking-in-the-shadows vibe.
The Castaway Beard Tom Hanks' desert-island growth is only acceptable because his character, Chuck, was on an actual desert island. If you usually keep your beard properly trimmed, now's the time to let it go rogue. On Halloween, go shirtless and carry around a beat up volleyball—now you're a FedEx employee desperate to survive.