The Lab Rat: Charles Mahoney, Intern, age 20, 141 pounds
The Cleanse: BluePrintCleanse Renovation Cleanse (blueprintcleanse.com)
The Regimen: A three-day cleanse of six bottled juices every 24 hours. The program includes a cashew-nut milk with vanilla and cinnamon, and a knockoff of the master cleanse, a spicy lemonade. The most unpalatable drinks are the green juices (kale, romaine, cucumber). The most palatable of the lot are the fruit-juice mixes like pineapple and mint.
6:45 a.m.: Just woke up to get ready for my 8 a.m. class. I have to admit, I'm pretty scared of how the next three days are going to go. Three days without solid food seems undoable. Luckily, I don't have to start until mid-morning when I get to the Details offices.
8:30 a.m.: I explained to my Italian class that I am going on a juice fast. There were a lot of different reactions, but the general opinion was that I won't last more than five hours.
10:45 a.m.: Drank my first juice. It was actually pretty good, like a high-quality liquid salad with apple, cucumber, and spinach.
12:25 p.m.: First hunger pangs. The juice was nice, but it's not quite filling like solid food, and I think my body knows that at some level. Oh well. This shall pass, right?
2:45 p.m.: Second juice has a sweet and tangy apple flavor. I can smell my fellow intern's steak sandwich wafting across our shared office, and my stomach has begun to loudly growl. I don't think I've ever been this long without meat before, and my body's getting pissed.
3:30 p.m.: Third juice, same as the first. My caffeine-deprivation headache is kicking in. I didn't realize how addicted I was to caffeine, but my lack of coffee is actually proving to be more of a problem than the lack of solid food.
5:15 p.m.: Up until now the juices have been relatively boring, but the fourth juice, Spicy Lemonade, sure did have an impact. And I don't mean that in a good way.
6 p.m.: Fifth juice: Upon my first sip of my fifth juice—an apple, carrot, and beet mixture—I was pretty sure someone was trying to poison me. I choked down about half before putting it on the table and just staring at it. I finished it 10 minutes later.
7:30 p.m.: Dinner with friends. Well, sort of: They ate while I bitched about my hunger. I think I'm starting to annoy my friends.
9 p.m.: Sixth juice was much, much better than the last two. A combination of vanilla bean and cashew milk, it actually had things that people are meant to eat: fat, protein, fiber. My stomach's starting to hurt, though.
10:30 p.m.: Stomach is really killing me now. I'm trying to write an essay, but my eyes keep drifting. I think I'll put the assignment off, especially when my stomach is hurting this bad.
12 a.m.: Bedtime—in theory, anyway. I've consumed 180 grams of sugar (about six and a quarter Snickers bars) on an empty stomach today, and now I'm paying for it. My stomach is twisting into itself, and I feel queasy.
6:50 a.m.: Didn't sleep well. I think I woke up to talk to my roommate about something, but I'm not quite sure. I feel delusionally tired, and it's all a blur.
8 a.m.: While getting up from bed was easy, walking to class was an absolute chore. I was so spaced-out that I almost got hit by a bike.
10 a.m.: I've held off on drinking my first juice until now because I'm afraid I'm going to drink them too fast and run out. I'm just trying to hold off until I really need it.
11 a.m.: My writing is getting worse. Maybe it's the fatigue or the lack of food, but I keep making minor errors—misspellings, incorrect grammar, weird punctuation—and it's starting to frustrate me. I need to focus harder but I can't.
12:20 p.m.: Had to chug my second juice to drink it before my class started. At 45 grams of sugar, Pineapple Apple Mint is the sweetest of all of the drinks, and I am feeling every crystal of sugar. I'm ready to jump out of my seat. Totally buzzing.
1:50 p.m.: I thought I had gotten out of this sugar high scot-free. Then I tried to stand up. In a brutal irony, after spending an entire class wanting to do jumping jacks, I now have to walk home ready to collapse.
3 p.m.: Third juice, another green one. As I stand up, I see the results in action: The loss in weight is causing my pants to fall down.
4:30 p.m.: Caught up with my roommate. He told me that I sprung up last night declaring I had had "a stroke of genius," then pulled out my computer and started typing. Then I passed out again.
6 p.m.: Fourth juice. The cayenne pepper and lemonade tastes horrible; there is no reason for these two things to be combined. My stomach is really hurting, but oddly I haven't been going to the bathroom much. I think the lack of fiber's catching up with me.
8:30 p.m.: I went to what I believed would be a short meeting with my study-abroad orientation adviser. Instead, I was subjected to a two-hour session detailing every aspect of my next semester. I've got to run home to get my juice to try to get back on the plan's schedule.