SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen the first two seasons of True Blood, turn back now (and go rent the DVDs).

SEASON 1

Episode 2: Vampire Bill is all southern charm, but when local hicks Mack and Denise Rattray beat the crap out of Sookie, Bill goes ballistic and slaughters them.

Episode 5: Gran Stackhouse becomes the latest victim of the serial killer terrorizing Bon Temps, but her death, although tragic, ultimately pushes Sookie back into Bill's arms (and his bed).

Episode 9: Sookie is summoned to Fangtasia and reveals to Eric that vamp bartender Longshadow is the culprit skimming cash from the till. Luckily Bill stakes the thief mid-pounce as Longshadow seeks revenge against Sookie for her blabbermouthing ways.

Episode 10: After hearing captive vampire Eddie's sob story, Jason wants to release him, but Amy fears that the milquetoast vamp will seek revenge, so she stakes him in front of a traumatized Jason.

Episode 12: Serial killer Rene Lenier's next target is Sookie. After a dramatic chase through a graveyard, Sookie finally taps into her inner rage and decapitates him with a shovel.

SEASON 2

Episode 1: Eric gets blood all over his coif after he rips into Royce, a local vampire hater he had been keeping captive in his S&M dungeon of doom alongside fan favorite Lafayette.

Episode 6: In a flashback, Bill and his maker, Lorena, lure a Prohibition-era couple back to their room, feed on them, and proceed to have monkey sex on the blood-soaked sheets.

Episode 7: Chaos-worshipping Maryann forces her lackey, Eggs, to stab klutzy shape-shifter Daphne. Gross-out bonus: Later, Maryann cheerily bakes Daphne's heart into a delicious soufflé.

Episode 9: Centuries-old vampire leader Godric kills . . . well, himself. Having had enough of the vampire life, he waits for dawn and dissolves into nothingness as Sookie stands by helplessly.

Episode 12: The second-season finale finds Maryann at the end of her quest to summon "the god who comes"—but in this case that god is actually Sam shape-shifted into a bull. A quick gore of the horns and the now-mortal Maryann ends her reign over the town.

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