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THE SCARSDALE SCHLUB

Net worth: Makes $500,000 a year but spends every penny on household expenses. Is gradually going under.
Line of work: Senior vice president, bond trader, or corporate lawyer desperate to become a partner
Style sense: Belly-hugging Greg Norman golf shirts, pleated khakis, bulging pager latched to cheap leather belt, Similac stains on shoulder, Dave Matthews disc in the minivan
Typical day: Driving the kids to birthday parties, driving the nanny to the bus station, driving the wife to the chiropractor, answering 37 questions from the boss on his Treo, and paying bills
Deep, dark secret: Once got drunk and hit on the doula.

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