LAST YEAR’S RANK: 2
Shiloh’s first baby pics brought in over $4 million, she’s been immortalized in wax, and she has the most desirable DNA in the world. Who’s Daddy’s favorite now?
LAST YEAR’S RANK: 7
Last year, he vowed to Get Rich or Die Tryin’. Yes, he makes ducats, but after he picked a beef with Robbie Williams and then played kiss and make up on British TV, 50’s gangsta cred is dead.
LAST YEAR’S RANK: 10
After having the world’s best-selling album in 2005, Coldplay is on indefinite hiatus. Phew, more time to live in Gwyneth’s shadow and think up idiotic baby names.
LAST YEAR’S RANK: 18
If you have to become a commentator for the Miss Universe pageant, it’s time to start rooting for the return of Hollywood Squares.
LAST YEAR’S RANK: 39
Silly K-Fed—the only way your pathetic rap career and gratuitous self-promotion will take off is if Britney dumps you, preferably for the Manny. Ask Nick Lachey (No. 28).
LAST YEAR’S RANK: 44
After going to rehab for his pill-popping, he remarried ex-wife Kim only to divorce her again three months later. Somehow he still had no material.
Sam Houser & Terry Donovan, Rockstar Games
LAST YEAR’S RANK: 45
Busted for illegal pornographic content in your games? Your parent company, Take 2 Interactive, found guilty of insider trading and flawed financial reporting? Where’s the fun in those crimes, fellas?
LAST YEAR’S RANK: 49
Jacko’s been found not guilty. The trial is over—so is your 15 minutes.
Story by Alex Bhattacharji, Erica Cerulo, Ian Daly, Alexandra Geiger, Jeff Gordinier, Matt Hendrickson, Timothy Hodler, Allison Mooney, Ece Ozturk, Todd Pruzan, Genevieve Roth, Jonathan Sabin, Kayleen Schaefer, Gillian Telling, and Pete Wells.