Q: What do you think about former Gen Xers who have turned into the yuppies they swore they’d never become?
A: Gen Xers turned yuppie . . . So you mean the kids who went to go see The Breakfast Club and who are now the principal? I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s a part of growing up. In the words of one of the guiding lights of the Gen X movement, a lot of Gen Xers have discovered it’s “Hip to Be Square.”

Q: Are you saying it’s okay to embrace your inner yuppie?
A: Right. Look, not embracing the Today show is soooo yesterday. I mean, you’re gonna be left behind if you don’t appreciate the genius that is Meredith Vieira. Your own growth is stunted. The population is getting older, and how pathetic and slightly creepy to still be flouting the genius of institutions like Good Morning America and the Today show. Yes, I still love South Park, but I also love morning TV now.

Q: What do you think of the “deniers?” The guys who have nice jobs, nice cars, and lofts but like to think they’re still hipsters?
A: There’s something unsettling about them. Like fat chicks who wear “slimming” black clothes. It’s like, stop it, don’t show your midriff. It’s the same with guys—even handsome guys—in their forties who refuse to get rid of the clothes they were wearing at Limelight 10 years ago. You know, the rest of us are getting older. And we’re never going to trust our children with you.

Q: Have you noticed your friends turning into yuppies?
A: Absolutely! A good friend of mine who I always thought was so hip, stylish, and cosmopolitan—she got married, and one day we were talking and she asked me if I’d heard that absolutely hilarious thing a certain late-night talk-show host had said. That sounded so square! And then I realized, that’s great. I mean, she’s moving on.

Q: So is accepting upward mobility like aging gracefully?
A: Right. Recently a bunch of us were out, and someone said, “It’s so tacky to have a television in the living room.” And one of my friends went, “Fuck that—I’ve got a TV in every single room. I love it. I love eating in front of the TV, and the TV is always on!” And I thought, “My god, it’s so liberating to hear him say that.” In fact, as I talk to you now, I’m waiting for Time Warner to come for the HDTV connection. Do I really need to peer inside Ann Curry’s pores?