Wentz, who considers Jay-Z a role model, is always seeking new branding opportunities. While he doubts the world is ready for a Pete Wentz fragrance, he says, "In a weird way, it's one of the things I'd be most interested in doing." But there is a limit. Although Fall Out Boy have done numerous sponsorship deals, Wentz protested publicly when Island Def Jam released­—allegedly without his approval­—a cut of the "I Don't Care" video to iTunes that featured a few too many adoring close-ups of a Nokia phone. "this is NOT the edit the band approved," he blogged furiously. "sorry to let you down."

Count 7: He's a fame whore. "The tabloids are a lose-lose for me," he says. "I don't need to do image maintenance. My band was playing arenas and had a platinum record, all pre-paparazzi." Simpson is now the focus of attention. "When me and Ashlee are on the red carpet together, I'm like her purse."


Meanwhile, anyone hoping for a Wentz-family reality series can forget it. "I get pitched, like, Newlyweds 2 once a week, dude," he says. "For like, fuck-you money. Move-to-an-island-after-this money. I just can't do it."

Still, he's self-aware enough to realize that his haters will despise him no matter what. "People are like, 'This dude represents eyeliner and girls' jeans and a swoopy haircut and whining on your blog,'" he says. "I'm the flag of that. So when people want to burn the flag, I'm the dude they go after."

There is a bright side, however. "People, when they meet me, are always like, 'Aw, man. I was sure I was gonna hate you,'" he says. "So as long as you aren't, you know, Hitler, they wind up thinking, like, Oh, this dude's okay!"