There's a reason reporter Brian Fantana's (Rudd) Sex Panther cologne is illegal in nine countries. According to a coworker, "It smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food!" Irresistible, no? So powerful, so sexy is Fantana's scent that it causes mass vomiting and sets off the fire alarms. Take heed, your cologne should never enter a room before you do.
24. Clooney's Pomade Addiction, O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
Pretty vain for a guy who just escaped from a chain gang, Clooney's Everett McGill obsesses over his hair, constantly slicking it back during the day and wrapping it in a hairnet at night. This hardscrabble southern gentleman may not have food to eat or clothes to wear, but he always makes sure he has a tin of Dapper Dan pomade. "I'm a Dapper Dan man," Everett barks at a shopkeeper fruitlessly trying to sell him another hair wax. Now that's brand loyalty.
23. Brosnan Goes From Homeless to Slick in Seconds, Die Another Day (2002)
Just because you've been imprisoned, poisoned, and tortured for 14 months doesn't mean you have to look like it. Less than an hour after Pierce Brosnan's bearded, ratty-haired James Bond jumps off a boat, swims to shore, and waltzes barefoot and wet into a luxury hotel, 007 steps out of appears seconds later clean-shaven, trimmed, and as debonair as ever. Guess MI6 training includes a course in fine grooming.
22. Luke Wilson's Suicide Shave, The Royal Tenenbaumer (2001)
Lovesick, lost, and hairy as a hippie, Richie Tenenbaum (Wilson) shuts the bathroom door door to his bathroom, cuts off his thick beard and mop, and slashes his wrists. His blood mixes with the foam and sheared hair in the porcelain sink to an Elliott Smith tune. Luckily, his friends comes to his rescue, and better days with his sweetheart adopted sis Gwyneth Paltrow lie ahead.
21. Ethan Hawke's Extreme Exfoliation, Gattaca (1997)
In a world where DNA, not a résumé, determines who gets the job, Hawke's Vincent Freeman tries to buck the system by buying a new identity and flushing his old one away. For most people a loofah would do, but each day Freeman dry-scrubs his entire body in an evidence-disposing shower that doubles as an incinerator. When you try to wash away who you are, bathing can be brutal.
20. Goldblum's Extraterrestrial Makeover, Earth Girls Are Easy (1989)
Before they met Julie Brown's Candy, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans were fuzzy aliens, "lost in space with no conditioner." But the crafty beautician transforms the furry visitors from pastel Wookies to human hotties in two seconds flat. And all it must have taken was a shower, a shave, a wax, and a little dab of moisturizer. "Well, it was easy," Candy says. "I started on poodles."
19. Depp Trims Poodles and Cougars Alike, Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Because poor Johnny Depp has stainless-steel shears for fingers and a black mop for a hairdo, his suburban neighbors ignore him. Then comes the day they discover his flair for hair, making him the local Vidal Sassoon. What's more, the ladies experience an extra, orgasmic perk from his cuts. "That was the second-most-thrilling experience of my whole life," says his first customer. Now if only Ed could do something about his own spiky shag.
18. OCD Grips DiCaprio, The Aviator (2004)
Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but there's nothing holy about the tin of luxe soap the aviation mogul Howard Hughes (Leonardo DiCaprio) carries with him everywhere he goes. It's just sad. Seeing Hughes incapable of passing a handicapped man a towel or scrubbing his fingers till they bleed is even sadder.
17. Viggo Mortensen Gets Steamed, Eastern Promises (2007)