In fact, the hoodie-blazer recently became the hoodieblazer, for chrissakes. I spotted this beast at Urban Outfitters—a blazer with a sweatshirt hood sewn into the collar. We havenít seen such institutionalized fashion indecisiveness—wherein the identity crisis is stitched right into the fabric of the garment—since the culotte, that neither-pants-nor-skirt monstrosity that certain feminists and large women wore in the seventies. And the real problem is that this hoodieblazer, or hoodzer-unitard (or hoodtard, as I call it), removes the main disincentive to sport a hoodie-under-blazer: The combo invariably makes you overheat the second you step indoors. (Thatís how you can discern a real jackass: When itís 80 degrees at a party and the dude still wonít remove his jacket ícause it just looks so styliní.)

Iím no purist, but if you must wear a hoodieblazer, why donít you go ahead and cinch the hoodie real tight-like, so you can pretend youíre Kenny from South Park, all growed up? And while youíre at it, why not have your mommy sew some mittens-on-a-string onto your blazer sleeves? If youíre a really good boy, maybe sheíll stick a couple of juice boxes in the pockets.