"Because it's a recession" is your excuse for why the rent's late, why your breath smells funky, why your fly is down, why you picked your nose . . .
You just can't get over how funny Tyra is!
You substitute beer for liquor in all of your home cocktails, and you can't figure out why you never tried a PBRtini before.
You watch Michael Douglas' "Greed is good" speech in Wall Street over and over again until you weep and pass out.
When you're trying to fall asleep, the sheep you count are gored and eaten by the Merrill Lynch bull.
You introduce your girlfriend to your wife for a winner-take-all smackdown in order to cut expenses.
You think cutting energy costs means not going to the gym.
You support the cause by buying a spork, a Labradoodle, and any other hybrid you can find.
You can't help but wonder what Jed Bartlet would do.
Beggin' Strips really do taste like real bacon.