The Worst Excuses in History\u000AThe excuse: \u0022The serpent deceived me, and I ate.\u0022\u000A\u000A Eve, in Genesis 3:13, after she bit off a chunk of apple in the Garden of Eden.\u000AThe excuse: White\u0027s compulsive diet of candy bars, cupcakes, and Cokes aggravated a chemical imbalance in his brain.\u000A\u000A Psychiatrist Martin Blinder in 1979, in testimony on what led San Francisco supervisor Dan White to kill the city\u0027s mayor in 1979. This came to be known as the Twinkie Defense.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022That fucking bitch, why didn\u0027t she leave me alone?\u0022\u000A\u000A Alleged words Robert Chambers (a.k.a. \u0022the Preppie Killer\u0022) spoke to his father in 1986, before being booked for the murder of Jennifer Levin, who he claimed sexually assaulted him by demanding \u0022rough sex.\u0022\u000AThe excuse: \u0022These are troubled kids in a very difficult and grotesque home environment, and they cracked.\u0022\u000A\u000A Menendez brothers\u0027 defense lawyer Leslie Abramson in 1996, arguing that years of sexual abuse drove them to kill their parents.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022Bitch set me up!\u0022\u000A\u000A Washington, D.C. mayor Marion Barry in 1990, moments after FBI agents saw a video from a hidden camera of him lighting up a crack pipe and busted in the door.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022I was using ecstasy, a lot of ecstasy.\u0022\u000A\u000A Amy Fisher, on Entertainment Tonight in April, recalling shooting her boyfriend\u0027s wife, Mary Jo Buttafuoco, in the face.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022My lace is broken!\u0022\u000A\u000A Tonya Harding, as she propped her leg up on the judges\u0027 table at the 1994 Olympics after blowing a triple jump. Harding got a do-over but still finished in eighth place.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022He didn\u0027t love me and never would. I had a very hard time accepting that.\u0022\u000A\u000A Susan Smith in 1994, on why she drowned her two young children in 1994; her boyfriend wouldn\u0027t marry her because she had kids.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022This is my career. . . . I got children to raise and he keeps butting me. . . I got to retaliate.\u0022\u000A\u000A Mike Tyson, after chomping down on Evander Holyfield\u0027s ear during a fight in 1997.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022It\u0027s not the first hooker that I\u0027ve helped out...I was being a good Samaritan.\u0022\u000A\u000A Eddie Murphy, on why he picked up a transvestite prostitute in West Hollywood in 1997.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022I don\u0027t think anyone could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center.\u0022\u000A\u000A Condoleezza Rice, briefing reporters in May 2002 about missed intelligence cues before 9/11.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022Why would I put a scarf over the baby\u0027s face if I was trying to throw him off the balcony? I was kind enough to let them see. I was doing something out of innocence.\u0022\u000A\u000A Michael Jackson, in a 2003 interview about why he dangled his baby over a crowd below his Berlin hotel room.\u000AThe excuses: \u0022Both racial preferences and racism played a role.\u0022 And \u0022I was drunk on assignment.\u0022\u000A\u000A Disgraced New York Times reporter Jayson Blair in 2003, on why he fabricated stories at the newspaper.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022When he said it was flaxseed oil, I just said, Whatever.\u0027\u0022\u000A\u000A Barry Bonds, after he tested positive for steroids in 2003, claiming he didn\u0027t know what products his trainer was using on him.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022My truth is that I am a gay American.\u0022\u000A\u000A New Jersey governor James McGreevey, after stepping down from his post in 2004 following reports that he\u0027d had an affair with a male employee.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022It was a blackout night. No sex, just a drunken night that got out of control.\u0022\u000A\u000A The Insider host Pat O\u0027Brien in 2005, to Dr. Phil about leaving drunken, kinky messages on a woman\u0027s cell (and then checking himself into rehab).\u000AThe excuse: \u0022I don\u0027t think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees.\u0022\u000A\u000A President Bush in 2005, when Diane Sawyer asked if he was satisfied with the pace of the Katrina relief effort.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022[Michael Chertoff did not know] the first thing about running a disaster.\u0022\u000A\u000A Former head of FEMA Michael Brown in 2006, deflecting the blame for the Katrina disaster onto his boss, the head of the Department of Homeland Security.\u000AThe excuse: The plaster that grazed her head is giving her migraines. She thinks she might have a concussion. And Ereka called her the N-word.\u000A\u000A First season Apprentice diva Omarosa Manigault Stallworth in 2004, on why she couldn\u0027t participate in a team challenge.\u000AThe excuse: \u0022Bored\u0022 and out of work.\u000A\u000A Former Full Housestar Jodie Sweetin in February, explaining to Robin Roberts of Good Morning America about why she began using meth.\u000AThe excuse: Harry Whittington didn\u0027t \u0022announce himself.\u0022\u000A\u000A Ranch owner Katharine Armstrong, on why Dick Cheney shot his hunting buddy instead of a quail last February.