Sex really is a wonder: Scientists say it reduces anxiety, combats depression, and maybe even makes us smarter. But is there such a thing as overstimulation? (Probably.) And can you actually get addicted? (Depends on who you ask.) We listened to sex coaches, M.D.'s, therapists, and thousands of you, our readers, to document the state of our unions. Condoms are out. Kink is in. And so is anal stimulation among straight guys. Sex in 2013 is getting creative. But is it getting better? Read on.

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The Etiquette of Ejaculation
The cardinal rule of coming: Don't shoot first and ask questions later. Unlike Girls bad boy Adam—who gets Hannah's permission to come on her chest but jerks off on her arm instead—it's key to learn the proper finishing conduct. "A guy should ejaculate in a way that turns him on without turning her off," says Philadelphia-based sex coach Monica Day. If you're looking to go outside the box, be sure to ask each time. "She needs to feel like you respect her, even when you're shooting a load on her face."

HOT SHOTS
Men's preferred (non-vaginal) targets*


The Attack of Porn Fatigue
At least 40 million Americans regularly view porn. Every day, an estimated 266 new X-rated sites go live. And all this hard-core banging is screwing with your sexual reality: Sex therapist Laurie Watson, author of Wanting Sex Again, says guys who get hooked become like Don Jon's Joseph Gordon-Levitt, whose character is so porn-addled he prefers skin flicks to Scarlett Johansson. As the accessibility of fantasy makes actual hook-ups less satisfying, partners can be rendered obsolete. "Porn allows these men to be sexual without having to deal with the messiness of relationships," Watson says. "They believe they're better off 'taking care of it' themselves."


How Kink Went Mainstream
The normalization of once-outlandish fetishes—dom/sub, rough play, safe words—is all but complete, and it's mostly thanks to our propensity for digital exploration. "Kink began to flourish once people were able to ask the Internet if they were weird for wanting to be tied up," says Mike Stabile of Kink.com, the BDSM hub at the heart of the James Franco–produced documentary Kink, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival this year. "Turns out they weren't. Then they realized, 'I don't have to go to a dungeon or hire a dominatrix—this is something acceptable to talk about with my partner.' Now we're even listening to Rihanna sing about S&M."

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Downward-Facing Doggy Style
. . . and other yoga moves that make you better in bed.

Whether you swear by Bikram or are all about Ashtanga, practicing any kind of yoga—even the easy poses—all but guarantees you better sex. Sadie Nardini, author of The 21-Day Yoga Body, due out this September, recommends the following moves.

Kneeling Cat/Cow: On all fours, arch and curl the spine. Repeat 10 times. This will increase blood flow to the pelvis and motion in your lumbar spine.
Pelvic Pulses: Stand with knees slightly bent, hands on your lower back. Push hips forward while clenching your glutes and abs. Repeat. This helps strengthen the "thrusting" muscles of the back, hips, and abs.
Lunge Lizard: Lunge with one foot forward, one knee on the floor. Place forearms on a block or on the floor inside your front foot and hold for 10 breaths. Repeat on the other side. This stretches pelvic muscles and stimulates blood flow to the sexual organs.
Seated Goddess: Sit on the floor with your feet flat and together and knees bent. Open your knees, then grab hold of your legs or feet and gently fold forward. This helps release hip and groin tension, which is thought to energize libido.

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*From the Details.com sex survey.