So you think you can date a JILF? We asked porn star Joanna Angel to give us her personal guide to dating a lady of tribe without coming across like a hopeless goy, er guy. Heed these words, young gentile, lest you be banished forever to a Babylon of fugly shiksas.

Don't
Be a born-again Christian.
"I had a friend who was one in college, and I couldn't really take her seriously. We would just be talking about something else and she would be talking about how Jesus was her savior. I couldn't really stomach it."

Don't
Make jokes about Jews being cheap.
"There are lots of funny jokes about Jews, but these are not funny—and Jews like funny people. And that joke about Jewish girls not giving head after they're married? That's not funny either. Oh, and don't ask me if my parents had sex through a sheet."

Don't
Hate on Mom.
"I think this is a turnoff in general for Jewish girls. It's not good to go on a date with a guy that doesn't talk to his mom—and she's alive. I think that is just a bad quality for everyone. But particularly for Jewish girls, it's a thing. You have to love your mom."

Do
Like to eat.
"I don't keep kosher anymore, so there's nothing foodwise that offends me. But it's offensive if people don't like to eat. Food is a thing for everyone Jewish. If you don't really like to eat or just eat whatever's around, that's not a good thing for a Jewish girl. And definitely taking a Jewish girl to a nice restaurant is a good thing.

Do
Have a job.
"Those guys who, maybe they're in between jobs? Maybe not the best time to go after that Jewish girl you've had a crush on. Doesn't mean we've been looking for a guy to spoil us. It's just that most Jewish people are hardworking individuals, and it's hard to find anything to talk about if the guy doesn't work. I have been on dates like this. And I found it not hot. Biggest turn-on careers for me? Porn star, of course. And musician—meaning somebody pays you to play music, not 'You play music alone in your room and post it on YouTube.' If you're really making a living off anything you started doing for fun, I think that's pretty rad."

Do
Have some manly traits.
"It's a good turn-on for Jewish girls if you know how to do things—like fix cars or carry things—because chances are our dads didn't know how to do that growing up, which was annoying. Man things, not intellectual things. Because most Jewish girls—we're smart and we're driven, but we don't want to do things like put a couch together. I remember I got all this fancy stuff for my bat mitzvah, like a flat screen TV—all this stuff that my dad could have put together if he was good at anything except for his job. Instead they just sat there. I eventually had to get a boyfriend to come over and put it together."

Do
Spoil them a little.
"We'll cook and we'll put out. And we'll have a job—a good job—and a good sense of humor. But we've gotta have our time to be a princess."