If the fortysomething unmarried isn't written off as being overly fussy or just plain weird, there is another label that he can find himself tagged with: gay. Travis, who is often teasingly called a diva by those close to him, recounts how five or six years ago a female friend said, "I really want to talk to you. Are you gay?" He laughs. "I was like, 'No,' and she's probably apologized for it 10 times since." Being an unmarried straight guy isn't exactly a career enhancer, either. Travis left a job where his lifestyle didn't fit the company culture. "I used to work for a commercial bank that was very conservative," he says. "They expect the country club, and taking customers and their wives out. That would be very awkward, because I certainly wouldn't be doing that."

Maybe some men know themselves too well to ever commit to a banana-pancake lifestyle. And maybe they don't deserve to be subjected to judgmental looks, because the kind of honesty that prevents them from entering a relationship just for the sake of it is the unmarried fortysomething's saving grace. Weisman believes that instead of looking askance at the perennially unmarried man, society should applaud him—even the cad. "The only thing worse than a playboy who refuses to commit is a playboy who gets married," he says.

Feel ostracized for staying single? Tell us about it below in the comments section.