Photograph courtesy of Michael K
Got a minute? Dlisted's Michael K dishes about his claws-out gossip blog, Madonna's impending divorce, and why the Disney crew isn't worth his time.
Q: Why did you start blogging?
A: I was working at a dot-com, and I was really bored all the time. I read tons of blogs, so I started my own in January 2004—out of boredom, really. It's been almost two years since I've been doing it full time. When I quit my job, I thought, This is going to be so good. But now it's a job. When something becomes a job, it takes some of the fun out of it.
Q: You come up with funny nicknames for the celebrities you write about. What name are you proudest of?
A: Jessica's Alba's—"MiserAlba." There were pictures of her looking so miserable when she was pregnant. I put two and two together.
Q: You're negative about most celebrities, but which ones annoy you most?
A: Any of those Disney people—Vanessa Hudgens, Miley Cyrus, Ashley Tisdale. I have a hard time writing about them because I don't think they're even fucking worth it. They're fake and manufactured, and writing about them is buying into that. And they're kids. I feel so old—I'm 29.
Q: But you do love some celebrities. If you could hang out with either Rojo Caliente (Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend Christine Marinoni) or Spaghetti Cat (a cat that's been taught to slurp spaghetti), who would you pick?
A: [Long pause] Rojo Caliente, because butch dykes never like me. I want to try to win her over because she's the only one I care about. Whenever I see a picture of her and Cynthia, I want to touch myself.
Q: What do you do when you're not blogging?
A: I watch a lot of TV. I'm into the Real Housewives crap. I like what moms like.
Q: Have any angry celebrities come after you?
A: Usually it's their lawyers. Tori Spelling has a few times. One time it was over a blind item that I guessed was her, about a pregnant lady drinking wine. Paris Hilton has too. One of my friends at Gallery of the Absurd made a Simple Life poster and Paris had crabs coming out of her crotch. I posted it and her lawyers contacted me to say that she didn't have crabs and that it made her look like a dirty person—which of course is not true.
Q: What's the biggest story in the gossip world right now?
A: Madonna's divorce. I didn't think she'd ever divorce Guy Ritchie, because I don't see her as a quitter. I think it's going to get a little dirty.
Q: Like it did with Paul McCartney and Heather Mills?
A: I hope so. That was a good divorce. Ryan Wenzel